Friday, October 29, 2004

Shit, someone else felt like I did...

(I'm frustrated with blogger, really. I wrote such an awesome post and the fucking server was down - mind-fuck zone! I'll try to pen my thoughts again...)

And then, set his feelings to music. Isn't it wacky when a song mimics a stage in your life, down to the finest detail? It all started pretty innocently; I took my iPod into work this morning because the baby needed to be charged. While it was connected to the computer, I thought I'd create a new playlist - I did and called it Lifting - for the times when I am in the free weights room and want to listen to something edgy and loud. Obvious choice of music for this playlist - alternative rock.

I started listening to the songs on the list while driving to Seattle and before I could make it to Pacific Place, I had a new favourite song - Light Years by Pearl Jam. Vedder's deep voice and poignant lyrics kept playing in my head as I walked up the steps towards Gordon Biersche, and Mumtaaz.

Mumu and I caught up as the song played in my head. Within the hour we had talked about the month gone by, my new position, an enchilada had made its way from plate to mouth and the bill had been paid. The restaurant was a surprise find - excellent service, good prices and tasty food - and is called The Mexican (no points for guessing the cuisine); highly recommended. I drove Mumu back home and listened to some more music on my drive back to the Pro Club - I hoped to squeeze in a little more than an hour in the weights room tonight.

Mithun, Wes and I were the last few to cross the Exit doors of the Pro a little after 11pm. A week has passed since I took up a new position in the Rights Management Client team as a Lead (manager for the non-initiated) and it has been one crazy ride. This would be the first work night I was gonna make it back home before midnight and the first thing I did to celebrate was to make myself a tall milkshake, protein powder and all.

Eschewing sitting on the couch staring aimlessly at the Tele, I choose instead to catch-up on personal email, blog a bit and read the news. How can any such session be complete without music, I ask? Now this is a personal choice but I think Winamp is one of the most elegant players for listening to music on Windows - it's easy to use, very stable and I swear by its Playlist Shuffle feature! So I fired up Winamp, created a playlist with my entire collection of Alternative music and pressed Play. The list stopped advancing once Tainted Love came on...

"What an uncanny resemblance!" was the first thought that crossed my mind. And as I read the lyrics, the similarities blew my mind away; I'd felt the exact same way so many times in my life and more precisely, a couple of months ago. Here's where the needle stopped on the record...
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
And running away can give you closure - ask me...

1 comment:

  1. My dear Jhatax,
    Running away gives you closure? I guess that is the Gujju side of you talking!! I mean how can blocking something out of your mind, escaping or in your words "running away" give you any sort of closure. That is a coward's way out. Not that I am implying you are one. It is just that "men" in general think that, just exempting yourself from a situation is the end of it all. But whatchoo gonna do when they come for you? The memories, the past. Have you no idea my dear friend that blocking something is just a way to postpone the agony for a while. And that the human mind needs "triggers" which will bring it all back. And that time it will be worse. And why should you have to run away from anything. You have friends that care, family that loves and then you have yourself. "Deal with it". And by dealing I mean face it. Take charge of it. Accept it. And do all the things that go along with it. Being a somewhat staunch believer in Osho and similar philosophers, I firmly advocate the fact that a person has to face his/her demons. Running from them is only going to make them chase you all the more. When there is hurt and pain in life, it is for a reason. Feel the hurt, enjoy the pain. Because when you have that, you know that there are better times ahead. It is all going to get better. They might get worse...but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And the darker the tunnel, the brighter the light. So don't try to fite fate. And definately don't challenge nature! Take what is give to you ..bad or good and consider it as a gift...because then you are sure that things can only get better!

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