This used to happen a lot earlier but I've managed to find a way to stay upbeat over the last couple of months. There seemed to be no cure for the insidious down times because nothing would make the questions go away, not even intense workouts. I thought I had found the prophylactic prescription to keep the blues at bay: surround myself with friends, watch a whole lot of TV and read to keep myself occupied. I was wrong - the "drug" was no panacea because the blues are back, as is the dour mood.
The questions are the same - What am I doing?, Where is my life headed?, What do I want to do next?, Who am I going to end up with?, etc., etc. I have found that there are no straight answers to my questions because them questions aren't straight-forward. One might hypothesize that these questions are tailored to drag me down till I realize that there is no point deliberating over answers. Given the recurrent nature of this phase, this last hypothesis definitely has merit.
Maybe I need to just accept that I am not going to find answers. Something I read about the human brain comes to mind. The right frontal cortex is most active during stressful times and that meditation helps stabilize the elevated activity. Maybe that's the thing I need to do, meditate. What's it going to be then - meditation to calm myself down or acceptance that I'll never find answers so I should just proceed on with my life? Maybe a little bit of both might be the silver bullet that vanquishes this "demon", for now at least. I'll give it a shot...
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