Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Feeling Overwhelmed, Need to Rise Up


My sense of self oscillates between two extremes, and once the downward slide begins, it's very hard to pull myself out of my rut. It's September; another year has gone by; have I not met my expectations? Why am I low again? It could have something to do with recent events. Monday and Tuesday haven't gone as I had planned, and had it not been for the workout this evening (and the chocolate covered raisins after), I'd have gone into a protracted slump. I made a mistake while driving, the trip to St Helens was cut short 20 miles into the drive, work hasn't been easy, and it appears as if my best laid plans are getting foiled for no fault of mine. I can handle things not working out; things get over my head on the days when I recognize missed opportunities while experiencing an overwhelming sense of loneliness. It's surprising that I have staved off depression for this long...

Instead of letting my situation get the better of me, I've resolved to be positive this week. Things haven't been rosy the past couple days - so what?! I have a lot to celebrate - my new house, great friends, a year gone by filled with memorable experiences, and a lifetime of experiences in front of me. For the immediate future, I am going to make a list of things I must do before the 12th of September so that my birthday weekend is relatively stress free. Also on the list of immediate things to do - try and workout 5 times this week. Workout, work hard, eat well, sleep well, spend time with dad and friends - I know no better way to elevate my spirits.

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