To Trust Another

Precious and fragile things need special handling

A conversation I had yesterday made me think about men, women and trust. Trust is one of the key threads that binds two individuals. This thread of trust is a tenuous one, that which can snap after a few quick tugs. Once snapped, what ensues is usually a chain of events that makes both parties unhappy while all attempts at restoring the lost trust go in vain. That's the nature of such things, the severing of the thread is permanent.

My friend was at a club with a bunch of his friends on Saturday night. There was a new girl in the group with whom he shared a few drinks. Before he knew it, they had danced the night away and it was time to say goodbye. He found out the morning after that the girl was in a serious relationship with a guy in another city. He couldn't quite get his head around the fact that he had freak danced with her all night and she was committed to another man. He wondered if he could trust a girl like this to be his woman...

Some difficult questions popped into my head after I was done talking on the phone. What did I consider acceptable? Would I do something like this with a woman when I was in a relationship? What were the bounds of this "fragile" trust? Have the rules of being in a relationship changed? Are such occurrences to be expected and tolerated because they are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things? Is this the price we gotta pay for adopting Western ideals? Should I seek a person a tad more conservative than myself?

The one question that intrigued me most was - Would doubt creep in and expose my insecurities if an event like this occurred? As ludicrous as it sounds, I couldn't dismiss this notion completely. And then I found my answer, the one that allayed my own self doubt. If my woman has to go out of our relationship to get any sort of gratification, there is something amiss at the core of our bond. In some cases, the problem can be fixed and I'll do the right thing to fix it. I wish I could say "For everything else, there is MasterCard" but I can't.

So what has all this thinking lead me to realize? In my naive opinion, trust is built via transparent communication. The prerequisite to building a strong relationship if you ask me is being open and honest. If you get those two down, trust will follow. What you do to hold the thread of trust together with your partner is totally up to you.