Thursday, October 09, 2003


It's just an illusion

As was customary till around 3 months ago, Karan, Darwin, myself and a varied set of people saw every new big movie the first night it released. T-3 was a movie we were all waiting for expectantly; Arnie back as the android that saves the world from total annihilation - how can one resist that? A surprise member of our bunch that Friday evening was Suzanne, the iSCSI Team PM. So yeah, the movie got over, we saw that the world actually does get destroyed, that Judgement Day couldn't be stopped, even by Arnie. I hadn't got any sleep the previous night (was at work on the impending iSCSI RTM release), so I wasted little time in getting set for bed when I got home. That's about when Karan called asking me to accompany him to a party with Suzanne. I was tempted, but my exhaustion got the better of me and I passed out...

I wake up the next morning to news that Karan tells me that he was totally buzzed the night before and that he was badly hung over. I wondered about what made the professed teetotaller crack and knew exactly who to ask - Suzanne - she was there at the party too right, she should know right? But I had to wait till Monday for her to tell me, Karan had met a girl - Cassidy, and they had hit it off pretty well. The weekend was eventful, Karan and Cass went to a movie Saturday and got some dinner - so there was something brewing and I was hella happy for the guy - he's intelligent, smart and pretty good-looking (some girls don't think so but what the heck) and now he was hitched!

Two weeks later, I was informed that Cass was going to be in town and she and Mr Karan were gonna get it on, at Suzanne's place. Karan made elaborate plans and we decided on a sign that would indicate to me that she was around, so I wouldn't knock or use my copy of his key to get in to his place. Also, no one else seemed to know about this, so I was to keep it under wraps - I didn't, I teased him about it in front of a couple of our friends. But all in all, I was glad he was getting some - he needed the change from a very hectic work life.

Cass came to Seattle a couple more times before things started getting rocky. She wanted to move to Seattle to be closer to Karan and they started fighting - he didn't want to commit but she had started developing strong feelings for him. Eventually, they decided to break up because he wasn't quite ready and she was 3 years older than him. It surprised me that he could resist the draw of the white girl, blonde hair and buxom breasts package to garner peace of mind, but I sympathized with him and sincerely felt bad that the relationship came to a premature end.

Time went by, he'd make sporadic references to their telephone conversations, especially when he was late to get some place where we'd decided to go together. I'd immediately understand and not object, sucking up my anger at his tardiness. And then, finally the night before, I figured something out...

Cassidy doesn't exist - she's a figment of Suzanne and Karan's imagination - they made up this elaborate hoax to get back to me for all the dissing I subjected Karan to. Karan is pretty proud of his achievement, so must Suzanne - they had me convinced for 3 months and it was only after Karan told me that he had lied to me about something that many others had conspired about did I figure things out.

So I guess I was at fault for giving Karan the credit to go out with a girl - to actually get somewhere with her after the first date. I was also at fault for trusting him - I might become the object of ridicule for believing this for so long, I can live with that. I considered Karan to be one of my closest friends in Seattle and now, I doubt everything he has done or said. He was up there in my eyes, for his stellar performance at work and his virtuosity - suddenly he seems to be in a glass house whose walls have been shattered. My trust might be easy to earn but once it's lost, it's hardly ever regained... I'll never find out how he feels about that - but I sure hope he enjoys it! And Suzanne, I'm just glad that we aren't going to have a working relationship for much longer...

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