I have waited more than a week since I received my last performance review, and the resentment towards the system, and the bureaucracy that drives it hasn't subsided. Essentially, the review deflated my enthusiasm, and completely knocked the wind out of my sails. I thought this organization was different from others because of the nature of the project, and the relative infancy of the team. What I didn't account for was the fact that most of the team was comprised of senior employees from all over the company. You can build a new team, attempt to coat it with a new veneer, but the proof is in the pudding, or in this case, the mindset of the people you staff the team up with. Old School employees of this company are cut from the "arsehole" cloth, and they are quick to form cliques wherever they go. If you disagree with their philosophy, you're growth will stutter.
Not like I haven't learnt a lot in my new role. Au contraire, my technical growth has surpassed my expectations. I am still prone to small errors, but who isn't?! What has dawned on me though is that I need to get out of this morass-infected system, and work for a company/organization that values my input, regardless of my provenance. Prejudice manifests itself in many forms - some overt, others covert. The denizens in the latter category affected my review, and that is not something I can ever stand for.
To start the 30th year of my life on such a sullen note was a wake-up call that mandates action on my part.