Sacrifices made at the altar of the bottom line

It was my younger brother's birthday yesterday, and all my attempts at getting in touch with him came to naught. Being away from family to be employed overseas has started to take its toll on me, and though the cracks aren't apparent, I get maudlin around this time of year. It eventually passes, but a part of me doesn't recover from the enveloping sadness of being quasi-orphaned.

Since I couldn't reach out to him, I wrote him a letter. I was sad when I started writing it, but the act of putting my thoughts down transformed my mood and gave me hope for the future. I hope this letter helps you somehow:

My dear Nikhil,

Today is the first day of the 31st year of your life. I wasn't thinking about this specifically, but it dawned on me this evening that it was 15 years ago that I left for Pilani. That's half your life! It has been that long since I celebrated your birthday with you. Of course, I am not counting that first trip you made to Pilani as a birthday surprise for me, and the one time I came back home and we had a party at Karma. I do wish that some day, hopefully soon, we'll live near each other and can celebrate some joyous occasions together. But this isn't a time for regrets or remonstrations; instead, this is a time for celebration, so let me banish such pointless thoughts and get on with what I wanted to say to you.

In the interest of being transparent, I want to admit - there was a time when I was worried about what you would do with yourself. Don't get me wrong - I always knew you to be a standout person of good character. Where I thought you were lacking was in your willingness to succeed, to persevere and see a task to completion. I make long-term bets, and I was hoping that you would be one of those late bloomers - start slow, but finish strong. And I can say with a measure of confidence that you have just about hit your stride; couldn't have been better timing...

Nikhil, it has brought me immense satisfaction and filled me with pride to see you become the man you have. I saw the transition take place before my very eyes, and it vindicated the faith everyone had bestowed in your innate abilities. I have said, and I maintain, that you're the better man among the two of us. You are loyal, trusting and honest, and if you believe your best interests are taken care of, you endeavor selflessly. These qualities are the mark of a dying breed of men - gentlemanly yet worldly. Stay on this path; you might not get as far ahead as some of your contemporaries, but you'll be happy when you arrive at your destination, as will be the souls you have touched along the way.

The first 15 years of your life were spent in school. The next 15 in becoming a man. I am not going to ask you to invest the next 15 in any pursuits that anyone else believes you should undertake. Instead, I suggest you use the upcoming years to chart a map of the rest of your life. I believe the time has come for Nikhil to decide what he wants to become. It's time he asked himself some difficult questions because the answers will inform the decisions he makes going forward. Why? Because you're at a crossroads Nikhil; where you go from here is entirely up to you. You're not going to be alone though. Rest assured that I will be there for you, in all the ways I have been in the past, and in every conceivable way I can be in the future.

All my love,
Manoj

I needed a weekend like this

If I was to recap the week that just whizzed past me, it'd have the following bullet points:

- Worked on Zune, on Facebook stuff
- Wore myself out in the gym more than ever before
- Hardly ate, hardly slept
- Finally slept, emptied my suitcases, and kicked back!

In the spirit of my new resolve to find a silver lining before calling it a night, I sit in bed and recount the events of the day gone by. If I draw a blank, I walk up to the mirror in my bathroom, sneak a glance at myself, and take solace in the mirror's reflection. I have evolved into a confident yet measured speaker with a distinctive style and presence. I didn't have to resort to too many looks in the mirror to keep my resolution this week; the P2P summit, my work for the 2.5 release, the progress with Rajit and Nishant, and the stimulating conversations with my close friends have given me more than enough to be optimistic about. Not every week is like this...

That part about evolving into a more dynamic person has its downside. When I was a bumbling teenager looking for my niche, for my edge, finding myself was my mission. My journey is chronicled in this blog, and at almost every turn, the company of boys and girls kept me going. In moments of solitude, I now reflect on the times gone by, wonder why I didn't tie up some loose ends, wonder how things would have been, could have been had I turned left instead of right at a fork. Looking back in time, in a nutshell, is my new problem, and it muddies my appreciation for today and the future. The wise ones say that we all carry baggage, mostly emotional, and as I write this I wonder, is there a tipping point in our lives after which the baggage starts to get lighter? What if I chose to always look ahead - would that help me jettison some of the load? I wish the questions would stop popping into my head!

Was turning 30 a life altering event?

To those who haven't figured this out yet, I turned 30 on September 13, 2007. People make a big deal about turning 30, but honestly, I didn't initially get what everyone was talking about. Age is just a number, isn't it? A birthday is just another day - the sun rises, the wind blows (a sea breeze), the sun sets, the wind blows some more (a land breeze). Right? For the most part...

Subconsciously though, the fact that another decade of my life had passed me by slowly began to dawn on me. The decade most instrumental in determining the future course of my life was behind me, and begged some reflection. What had I accomplished? How would I like to remember these years? Was I any happier today than I was when I turned 20? Was I happy with the status quo or was it time to make a change? These questions have haunted me the last couple months.

One thing is certain - if the last decade was one of growth, this decade is going to be one of change. My friends started noticing changes in me when I returned from India in October, I decided to enter a committed relationship which till a few months ago wasn't even a consideration, but the biggest change in this new decade has been the dialing back at work. I have always put work ahead of everything else over the last six years at Microsoft, but this is all about to change. I'd like to preface this with the fact that I have no regrets; my time at Microsoft has been a rewarding experience. Reviews - good or bad - aren't reason to love or hate someone else; this dialing back has nothing to do with my performance at work. I simply want more from life now, don't want to be a worker bee any more than I need to be, and enjoy the real pleasures of life. Taking an afternoon off to idle away in the sunshine, go skiing on a weekday evening, sit beside a sick friend, speak to Gouri through an afternoon, and read my favorite blogs so I am abreast with the happenings of my interest. To Life then...

Hail the Anti-Social Manoj

What started out as just a fad has now become a problem - I just don't have the inclination to participate in social activities any more. If my time in India, both in October and January, is a harbinger of times to come, I need to do something to reverse this anti-social streak. I've been sleeping earlier, not been on facebook much, have little desire to talk on the phone, am getting more involved in solo activities like running and biking, haven't really gone out partying since I have been back - the list goes on and on and ...

This phase could be attributed to the shitty weather in Seattle since I've been back. Wait, I was in Bombay where the weather was smashing; why then did I not want to do anything much except sit around and watch cricket? Hmm, identifying the problem is half the battle won. Good thing there is an easy way to *start* fixing this problem - stop typing, get up, shower and bounce out of the house. Time to fill out the prescription.

Disassociation as a technique to maximize your athletic performance

Dr. Morgan, who tested the method in research studies, said he was inspired by a story, reported by an anthropologist that, he suspects, is apocryphal. It involves Tibetan monks who reportedly ran 300 miles in 30 hours, an average pace of six minutes a mile. Their mental trick was to fixate on a distant object, like a mountain peak, and put their breathing in synchrony with their locomotion. Every time a foot hit the ground they would also repeat a mantra.

So Dr. Morgan and his colleagues instructed runners to say “down” to themselves every time a foot went down. They were also to choose an object and stare at it while running on a treadmill and to breathe in sync with their steps. The result, Dr. Morgan said, was that the runners using the monks’ strategy had a statistically significant increase in endurance, doing much better than members of a control group who ran in their usual way.

That, in a sense, is the trick that Paula Radcliffe said she uses. Ms. Radcliffe, the winner of this year’s New York City Marathon, said in a recent interview that she counts her steps when she struggles in a race. “When I count to 100 three times, it’s a mile,” she said. “It helps me focus on the moment and not think about how many miles I have to go. I concentrate on breathing and striding, and I go within myself.”

I do this subconsciously when I feel like I can't go on any more. My technique - count my breathes till a 100, and repeat. That focuses me on the task at hand, on the current moment, not on how many miles I have left to go. Do you have a similar technique? As apocryphal as the conclusion from the Tibetan monks story might appear, the strategy works for me. Two things help me go longer - dissociation and endorphins - but I know when to stop...

Hunger definitely strikes at 4pm

Jeff and his girlfriend Katie are trying out the South Beach Diet. Like all diets these days, this one is divided into phases; Phase 1 - deny your body all simple carbohydrates, grains, etc. Phase 2 - slowly re-introduce some simple carbohydrates from fruit back into your diet. Phase 3 - Become Rich! No?!?

In my opinion, the trick is to avoid simple carbohydrates if possible, keep your caffeine intake to 1 cup of coffee a day, and drink a lot of water. A friend of mine commented last evening on why Americans tend to eat so much junk food - it's because real food is so expensive. Canned fruit is so bad compared to the real deal, but it comes at a fraction of the price, and isn't subject to the vagaries of season. Want Peaches in Winter, go to the Canned Fruit aisle - easy as pie...

I threw together a really tasty stir fry last night, and since that moment, I've made a conscious effort to cut out as many carbohydrates from my diet as I possibly can. It's so fucking hard though, especially between 4 and 6 pm!! There has to be an easier way that doesn't include surrendering to Obesity. Train for a 1/2 marathon???

Life between the Lines

Yoga in the mornings, squash in the evenings, and some work in between - that's how my days go by. I am glad that I don't have much time left to be on Facebook, or MySpace, or be at work finding new things to fix. The quest for the rest of the year is to locate, and possibly acquire some measure of Zen.

Sumeet and I hung out after almost a year last week. You know, my love (and appreciation) for friendships that require very little maintenance has never been higher. It felt just like old times with Suri - we ate dinner, drank coffee, and had a few glasses of Wine. I might've mentioned this meeting with him in an earlier post, but for some reason, it's not passed into the nether regions of my consciousness. The only difference between the Suri of yesterday and today is the philosophical tilt of his conversations. We both have wanderlust, and are slowly discovering that the rat-race is not worth running for too long. Life's about taking a pause, and ...

Got my first squash lesson in almost a year, and I learnt two new things. Two bad habits that were negating the gains my game had made over the past six months; thanks Azam! I am looking forward to the rest of my sessions with him before I leave on vacation. Oh yeah, something else I hadn't done in more than a few months is gorge on curly fries with my lunch. Just felt like I have been spending enough time in the gym to earn me a treat - a complete serving of them curlies. And they were so tasty with the chipotle sauce - Ummmmmmm!! Time to live a little eh? No! That's it for this week, except if I get my hands on a bag of Jalapeno Chips :)

Getting squashed on the court

Tuesday night is Seattle City League Night. Teams of at most 6 players in every skill category (A, B, C and D) all over the Seattle Tacoma area play against each other on Tuesday night. The league is like social hour; I end up playing and meeting both strangers and acquaintances, and had it not been for the league, it would be very hard to play against better opponents on such a regular basis. I have played against the Pro Club members so much now that I practically know their games, know what works against them, and have figured out how I can win, if at all. So last night, when I got a chance to play Jeff Evans, the Northgate team's Number One player, I relished the opportunity, and made the most of it.

In the lead-up to the match, I ran more, lifted weights, and ate healthy, so I was on top of my game. Turned out, I prepared a little too much, because I lost in 3 tough games to Jeff. My sole consolation prize was that I won the next 2 games we played but that didn't affect the final result. The rest of my team members lost their respective matches too, and the way things are going, the team might go lossless all season.

Now that the Zune launch is done, we have a week off to recharge, connect with friends and family (once again), and prepare ourselves for the next challenge - deliver a compelling set of follow-up features that increase the value proposition of a Zune purchase. This is a tall order mind you, because Apple is not going to sit still over the next couple of months. As I said yesterday though, the heat is on Apple for the first time in the Music Player business, and their response remains to be seen.

The stock markets today took another nosedive, which means my Microsoft stock is still worthless. Maybe greed isn't the way to go here - once the market rebounds from its current bear phase, I'll sell my holdings, and invest in mutual funds or in India. The market, and the dollar need to recover lost ground though, and both will hopefully sometime soon.

You heard about the Indian girl with 8 limbs??

Long Time No Post

India brings out the hopeful despondent in me - an entity that thrives on the radiant sun, basks in the warmth of the people around him, and waxes eloquent about the Indian experience on this wall. If my quest was for literary excellence, I'd stay back. Alas, that's not the case; I eventually return to Seattle, where for the first week after I land, nothing quite feels the same. Everything is simpler in America, more accessible, therefore one could argue, less *special*. A typical day in Bombay is spent dealing with impatient, rude, rowdy, impertinent, impetuous, lazy and down-right ridiculous people. The thought of a few moments of solitude, drink in hand, within the four walls of your quiet home help you look beyond the cacophony, and takes you through the day. Survival is tougher in India, don't get me wrong, but the satisfaction of having survived another day is stupendous as well.

It is exactly 5pm, and the sun has set on what has been a cold and dank day in Seattle. Winter is upon us, and a pall hangs over the daily proceedings. The volatility in the stock market has resulted in almost all the gains of the last week to be nullified, and in the lead-up to the Zune v2 launch tomorrow, things have quietened significantly at work. People are beginning to jump ship, and I will be sad to see some faces go, though I did expect some departures. Working on a project like Zune comes at a dear price, which at first seems commensurate with the quality of work, but for some, the cross is too heavy to bear. While I definitely see my future on this team, I need to take active measures to attain a balance between my work and personal lives. Till that is sorted, I can't rest.

The beaming faces on my desktop bring a smile to my face. The fond memories from this trip involved both friends and family, and I'd like to take a moment and thank the powers that be for my good fortune. Regardless of promises kept or broken, I've returned to the US with an even stronger yearning to pursue a career in India. I just need the stars to align, and the right opportunity to present itself to take the plunge. Who knows, this might help jettison the abject loneliness too.

When it's 35 Degrees Celsius

The sunlight pouring in through the open window, my auditory senses are enthralled with a melange of melodic sounds from my computer and garish sounds from cars driving by. Cup of milk in hand, I am trying to shake the writer's block away but my muse eludes me. The highlight of this trip has been its soundtrack - India is famous as a country of many cultures, but it gets little credit for being a country of many sounds. It is rare, even at night, for the bustling city of Mumbai to be quiet. Either my Mac or my Zune have been a constant companion during my travels, and when the sounds of the city become monotonous, I create a soundtrack of my own. Release your inner ZJ...

The adjustment to the new time zone is almost complete, and one of the objectives of this trip is reaching fruition - I am sleeping better and longer hours. As this process runs its course, the crankiness borne of sleeplessness will dissipate, and I should calm down. As things stand right now, I stop myself in my tracks when I sense myself slipping into my Hitler garb, but it's still not early enough to avert every situation in which I exceed my bounds. It's time I took a chill pill though, and went back to being Happy Go Lucky; I wonder if becoming an adult comes at the price of loosing some "Happy-Go-Lucky"ness. If that is the case, it's an expensive tax to pay.

The Sad Truth - I am tethered to Email and Work

Work Email is omni-accessible - on my Phone, in my Office, over the Web, and at home. The sorry realization is that despite all my efforts to the contrary, work email has percolated into my very being. There is no other explanation for the cravings I experienced to read my email the first few days I made it back home. Come to think of it, this was an inevitable eventuality - I didn't have an Internet connection at home for many years, and while everyone around me was buying into the smart phone frenzy, I resisted and used the simple T-610 for as long as it was feasible. Then, I caved...

Back to the present - my steely resolve has mostly prevented me from giving in to the urge to navigate past http://microsoft.koolaid.here/. It helped that I was in Bangalore for 3 out of the first 4 days I was back. The toughest phase is past me, and if I do check email now, it's on my terms!

This brings me to the oft discussed and hereto unresolved issue of work-life balance. What checks and balances can I put in place so that work does not travel with me everywhere I go? To those that know me well, it would come as no surprise that Sachin's wedding was just a front for my trip to India. I was close to my breaking point last month with the stress of my new job; the true purpose of this trip is to recharge my batteries and get some sleep. I haven't had much success with sleeping yet, but just being away from Redmond and the rat race that is intricately woven into its fabric has been detoxifying.

To Bangalore We Shall Go...

<This was written on the 19th but published today>

I couldn't sleep past 6am this morning; an expected outcome given that I had passed out around 10 the night before. My body clock stays warped for a day or two when I first arrive by the Arabian Sea, but within a few days, I am back to my regular shenanigans between 10 am and 2 am. Ready for the random fact of the day? If you use your laptop/cell phone in India, expect the keys to become sticky, and all white objects to turn a slight shade of brown.

I decided to check-in to my flight to Bangalore over the web, but I wasn't sure if the Indigo website would support this. I was pleasantly surprised with the experience, and barring the fact that I had to call the 1800 number to allocate a new pair of seats for Nikhil and myself, the operation was quite the success. I am sitting in this Bangalore guest house room singularly because of that bright idea. Read on to find out why; as for the airline, the site is http://www.goindigo.in/.

Complete co-ordination was needed between multiple members of the Mehta family this morning in order for two of us to be ready for our trip. Mom packed our bags with the help of Vikas and Tai, Nikhil drove to Nikita's to get a signed photocopy of her credit card, I got ready and guided the packing troops in their duties :). All was proceeding on schedule until I decided to pamper myself with a salon shave. Hey, it usually takes me 20 minutes to shave; considering I had mostly trimmed most of the hair down, I didn't think a professional barber would take any longer than it would take me to clean the fuzz. WRONG!

Almost thirty five minutes later, I sauntered into the living room, clean shaven and extremely late. The flight was to depart at 1:25 pm, and it was already 12:10pm when we left, which was cutting it very close. It is an hour long commute to get to the airport from Worli, and as the trip to the airport progressed, I readied myself to spend another 100$ on our tickets. Here is a play by play for your entertainment in the Manoj Mehta patented Mastercard-24 format: (12:15pm) Cab ride to the train station - 40 rupees in cash; (12:31pm) Train ride from Mahalakshmi to Vile Parle - 12 rupees in cash; (12:58pm) Auto rickshaw ride from station to airport - 50 rupees in cash. Arriving at the airport at 1:13pm and still getting on to the plane, PRICELESS.

Getting on to the plane took a lot of two things - praying, stressing, and a little help from 2 complete strangers. The first one gave us 2 rupees so we could buy our train tickets. The other was the rickshaw driver who hauled ass from the station to the airport; he drove on the other side of the road, blared his horn, ruthlessly cut fellow drivers, and somehow managed to cover 2.5 crowded kilometers within 8 minutes (truly a mean feat of Bombay driving). As we entered the terminal, late as hell to begin with, Nikhil wanted to check our bags in, which I graciously accorded as the stupidest idea of the day, vetoed it, and instead directed our attention to the the security check-booth. Imagine my surprise when I was told that we were at the wrong check-point - halle-fucking-lujah. An alert airport assistant noticed our hapless situation, and led us to the right security gate where things proceeded smoothly until the cop wouldn't accept our printed boarding passes. Nikhil ran out and called the Indigo representative, who stamped our passes while simultaneously informing us that we had arrived in the nick of time - any further delay on our part and they would have departed without us. Phew!!

Bullets of sweat flowing down the sides of our faces, both of us took our seats as the air hostesses closed the airplane's gate. Through the "arduous" ride, we didn't feel hunger or thirst because of the continuous adrenalin rush. About the time we took our seats, our tiny celebration of making the "cut" was rudely interrupted by both parched throats and rumbling stomachs. That's when we started requesting bottles of water, and by the end of the flight, the two of us had gone through 12 bottles (250ml each). One of the air hostess' saw us, smiled at us, and kept bringing us water, sometimes without our explicit asking - the almost instant guzzling down of the entire bottle of water clued her in to how thirsty we were, maybe! :)

Our welcoming party consisted of a familiar face and a new one, but not for an instant during the ride to the hotel did I feel constrained. Gouri seems like a good sport, and if her friend is anything like she is, Gundapps is a lucky man. My opinion is that you can't truly love a person without spending time under the same roof; given my confidence in my friend's ability to love, I think this is going to be a very happy union.

Touchdown India

I am back in the Motherland, again! You'd think I was now habituated to the rigors of the travel halfway across the globe from Seattle to Bombay, but I am not. The exhaustion, the sleep deprivation, the distaste for airplane food, all those things never change. What I did change this time was how I spent my time while in the air - instead of wasting the entire time watching the TV screen, I caught up on my Economist reading, after which I solved a Quantitative section of a GMAT practice test. Nothing like getting caught up with what's going on in the rest of the World. Too bad most of the news is depressing!

While I speak about changes, Mumbai's International Airport has definitely changed for the better on a yearly basis. The changes are mainly cosmetic; alas, it is impossible to change the attitudes of the officers manning the booths or the fact that the carousel area is full of coolies looking to thug you out of your money for the most basic service, but I take solace in the positives rather than get worked up over the fringe negatives. The immigration process was a breeze - extremely efficient, and a far cry from the long drawn process it is at Seatac airport. Efficient isn't an adjective I'd associate with the baggage retrieval process though. The time I saved at the immigration desk was negated by the inordinate delay in my bags emerging from the aircraft. Now that I think of it, "You win some, You lose some", is a phrase that best summarizes my experiences in India. Let's see how this trip unfolds...

The Review System

I have waited more than a week since I received my last performance review, and the resentment towards the system, and the bureaucracy that drives it hasn't subsided. Essentially, the review deflated my enthusiasm, and completely knocked the wind out of my sails. I thought this organization was different from others because of the nature of the project, and the relative infancy of the team. What I didn't account for was the fact that most of the team was comprised of senior employees from all over the company. You can build a new team, attempt to coat it with a new veneer, but the proof is in the pudding, or in this case, the mindset of the people you staff the team up with. Old School employees of this company are cut from the "arsehole" cloth, and they are quick to form cliques wherever they go. If you disagree with their philosophy, you're growth will stutter.

Not like I haven't learnt a lot in my new role. Au contraire, my technical growth has surpassed my expectations. I am still prone to small errors, but who isn't?! What has dawned on me though is that I need to get out of this morass-infected system, and work for a company/organization that values my input, regardless of my provenance. Prejudice manifests itself in many forms - some overt, others covert. The denizens in the latter category affected my review, and that is not something I can ever stand for.

To start the 30th year of my life on such a sullen note was a wake-up call that mandates action on my part.

Sore Knees

need ibuprofen, or so I am told. I had my first taste of meds to relieve pain, and they worked. i hope this doesn't become a habit, and instead of popping pills, I discipline myself to stretch before and after working out...

It's a sad day for me though :( Oh big deal says my alter ego, 2 pills ain't gonna kill you!

What does one do on an Immaculate day like this?

It's 24 degrees Celsius outside my window, and had it not been for the sudden bout of nausea after lunch, I would have stayed out in the sun. There might have been other days like today in the August gone by; not that I would have know because the only coherent details from the month gone by revolve around work, the drive to and from work, and ... my mind draws a blank.

The good news is that we've hit code complete. I left for the gym last evening at 5:45pm, knowing for the first time that I didn't need to come back for another session later in the evening. All my work was accounted for, completed, reviewed and checked-in; for the first time in months did I feel relieved, and overcome by a strong sense of accomplishment. All I need to do over the next month is fix bugs, but I am proud of my contribution to this project. The sense of fulfillment is hard to describe.

A quick nap, a bike ride to the gym, weight training, and a protein shake are next on the cards. I celebrated my reprieve from work by hanging out with Amru this afternoon; first she unpacked, then she cooked, all while I relaxed and watched the tele. Here's to more shiatsu massages in the afternoon...

To Write or To Sleep

After a relaxing weekend, I am ready for the long week ahead of me. Cooking has become a ritual on Sunday night, and I conjured up a simple Indian curry that will serve as my lunch for the next few days. I might make an exception this week, and cook on a week night - I've been craving one of my pasta recipes, so maybe I'll treat myself. I would like to note the biggest time suck this weekend - talking on the phone. I know, most of my brain cells are fried by this point, but not even the censure of my friends is putting an end to the incessant phone usage. I hate using a headset, so I am done for come January 1, 2008 when the use of a headset becomes mandatory while driving.

Though I couldn't partake in the Laser Tag festivities last afternoon, I did join the crew to celebrate Apurva's birthday at multiple locations last night. The party started at Apurva's house, continued at Capitol Club, and finally ended with us eating pizza at Mamma's on Capitol Hill. Christa and her friends rolled by the pizza joint, and we finally got home around 3am after lively banter. The only deviation from a domesticated Sunday was the drive to pick Amru from the airport. The drive afforded the opportunity to experience the one situation I hadn't been in all my life - having my car run out of gasoline before I got home.

Juggy came and bailed us out, and as we were struggling to get the hose into the tank, a state trooper pulled up and aided our efforts with her torch-light. She ensured that we got the car started before pulling away to catch some poor sap doing 39 in a 35. We got home an hour later than we should have, way colder than we should have, and treated ourselves to dinner and Entourage. Amru left, I finished folding the laundry, and am now ready to pass out. Lights out!

August Week 1

Hits and misses, strike outs and fly outs, close shaves and almost theres have characterized this week. Interestingly enough, this state has permeated every aspect of my life, and had it not been for this weekend, the negativity would have extended into the next week. The silver lining to this dark cloud has been a mix of impromptu weeknight rendezvous, and several trips to the gym that lasted at least 45 minutes.

Looking outside in, this week has brought some things to my attention that I should avoid in the future. The first lesson, sleeping at 6am on a weeknight is a bad idea. Solution - stop using the computer around midnight, work out earlier in the evening, bring the economist home every week so I have something to read while in bed, and turn my phone off at midnight. The second lesson, being a morning person works only if I have had approximately eight hours of sleep. The only day I woke up at 8am this past week was Friday, and my productivity hit its nadir that day. It might be because it was the last day of the week, or because I didn't turn my phone off at midnight the night before (smiles), but I'll keep trying this morning business. Persistence and perseverance result in ...

When I first moved in to my new digs, I was circumspect about the arrangement. My skepticism stemmed from my xenophobia, but two months into this and I must say, I couldn't have been more off kilter in my initial assessment. Saqib is reticent, weird (like that's a bad thing) and aloof at first, but he warms up with familiarity, and reveals depth, loyalty, and has an easy-going disposition. Such a stark contrast to Nishant.

I saw "The Prestige" last night, and like other Chris Nolan movies, the twist is in the tail (this isn't a play on words). Two aspiring magicians and close friends get estranged when the arrogance of one results in the death of the other's wife. The tragic accident starts a chain of events that lead to an unexpected climax that ties up all the movie's loose ends. The story alternates between the past and the present, which made some events hard to fathom at first, but the changing story-line piqued my curiosity and kept me engrossed. I had questions long after the credits were done rolling up the screen, the sign of a good feature film, and worthy of 4 stars.

Time to get back to reality now, the magic show is over. Work beckons...

Another Day, Another Late Night

A long yawn punctuates the stream of random thoughts in my head. As I prepare to get into bed, my mind drifts to the events of the day gone by. An early morning, a productive day at work, a quick yet effective workout, great coffee, an epiphany, and a rare sense of balance elevated today "beyond" my expectations.

These past weeks at work have been frustrating; I have made slow progress on my deliverables due to issues outside my control. It is true that stress causes your mind to focus on the single stress-inducer, which at first might seem like a good thing. The truth is, single minded focus causes you to miss out on the bigger picture, and precludes your ability to find other things to work on. In my case, while grappling with issues I couldn't fix, I overlooked the value of working on the unrelated, and therefore achievable, items assigned to me. Lightning struck me out of my rut this afternoon, and I found a purpose again. Two hours of focused coding, and I had fixes ready to go.

After a quick workout at the Pro Club, a quick cup of coffee (cinderella made it home on time with her sandals intact), and a check on how Amruta was doing with packing her belongings, I am finally sitting down penning my thoughts. Finally, I can rest in peace knowing full well that balance was achieved - the work, personal, and social chakras are rolling in the same direction, and propelling me forward. A long yawn...

Riding Around, Singing a Song

I have been riding my bike to and from the Pro Club since this idea first occurred to me on Thursday. I am working towards a day when I ride my bike in, play an intense squash match, and ride my bike back without being completely destroyed. Where am I at this moment? I have an extremely sore arse from all the riding. Soreness or not - I ain't wearing no weird biker shorts!

The current routine is to bike the 5+ miles to the club, work a set of muscles in the weight room, and ride back. I played squash just once this past week, so I might play a match today. Actually, even though I had a great night's sleep, I am still feeling the after-effects of a tough week at work. The hours aren't grinding on me anymore, it's just the constant state of high alert that's bringing the fatigue on. The adrenaline constantly pumping through my veins through the day at work is exciting though.

We went to Trinity last night to "celebrate" Mitika's birthday. After multiple weekends of Ridik partying, last night was relatively chill. Threw a shirt on, drove in to Pioneer Square, and hung with friends. The music was inconsistent at best, the DJ seemed to have an identity crisis, or plain didn't know what to play next. Trinity has something for everyone though, so when the RnB section wasn't up to the mark, I'd walk over to the Trance floor to groove. My usual crew of crazies is in Chelan, so I got to hang with a mix of old and new folks - fun party.

Random notes from the week:
- Met Pant after a long time. We're gonna grab lunch this coming week; he has intellectual depth and I'd like to hang with him more often.
- Did I hear trench-coat dress?
- The Simpsons movie gets 4*'s.
- 'Rash is back and made me a new CD - yay!

That's all folks!