Sunday, March 16, 2008

I needed a weekend like this

If I was to recap the week that just whizzed past me, it'd have the following bullet points:

- Worked on Zune, on Facebook stuff
- Wore myself out in the gym more than ever before
- Hardly ate, hardly slept
- Finally slept, emptied my suitcases, and kicked back!

In the spirit of my new resolve to find a silver lining before calling it a night, I sit in bed and recount the events of the day gone by. If I draw a blank, I walk up to the mirror in my bathroom, sneak a glance at myself, and take solace in the mirror's reflection. I have evolved into a confident yet measured speaker with a distinctive style and presence. I didn't have to resort to too many looks in the mirror to keep my resolution this week; the P2P summit, my work for the 2.5 release, the progress with Rajit and Nishant, and the stimulating conversations with my close friends have given me more than enough to be optimistic about. Not every week is like this...

That part about evolving into a more dynamic person has its downside. When I was a bumbling teenager looking for my niche, for my edge, finding myself was my mission. My journey is chronicled in this blog, and at almost every turn, the company of boys and girls kept me going. In moments of solitude, I now reflect on the times gone by, wonder why I didn't tie up some loose ends, wonder how things would have been, could have been had I turned left instead of right at a fork. Looking back in time, in a nutshell, is my new problem, and it muddies my appreciation for today and the future. The wise ones say that we all carry baggage, mostly emotional, and as I write this I wonder, is there a tipping point in our lives after which the baggage starts to get lighter? What if I chose to always look ahead - would that help me jettison some of the load? I wish the questions would stop popping into my head!

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