How to get a lap dance for FREE

1. Go to last minute invitation party, alone (party has girlz)
2. Arrive late
3. Socialize for some minutes - realize you know most no one
4. Walk to area with music playing, find DJ
5. No DJ - Deny urge strongly to take over
6. Sit around, patiently, for some competent person to take over. Only idiots
7. Take over, plebian crowd starts groovin' to tunes
8. Girl walks over with request
9. Ask the key question - WIIFM (What's in it for me)
10. Girl says she'll dance like XYZ. Play the game, don't commit
11. Girl ups the offer to dance on the floor and then give lap dance if request played
12. Find said song - this is key
13. Play song
14. Act like you don't want lap dance
15. Lap Dance received

Thanks.