Friday, April 28, 2006

Are active listeners opinionated?

As a Microsoft employee who's core work hours are spent in meetings, I have learnt to actively listen and provide feedback when needed. The thing with feedback is that it can be critical and invasive at times; you want the person receiving the feedback to know what you are talking about - sometimes that requires finding fault or pointing out something that wasn't thought through.

Feedback derives from knowledge and insight, judgment derives from opinion. The difference is subtle and it is this subtlety that causes the two to be mistaken: feedback for judgment and insight for opinion. I am human and therefore subjective so opinion does creep into my statements at times but for the most part, my feedback is fact or insight based. Does the fact that I have feedback make me opinionated though?

Yes and No - I can't go out on a limb and say that I am opinionated because there are some things I plain don't care about. Hockey, Politics and basket-weaving I don't care about. My friends I do care about. If they relate something to me, I might have an insight, a story to share or have an opinion to express. Whatever be the statement, speaking it almost always lands me in trouble - it's a theme this week isn't it? First my blog, then ...

I know why I land in a soup - I walk the line with my words and push boundaries. I should stop; I should know when to be quiet and listen and when to weigh in with my thoughts. It all boils down to perceiving when people will be receptive to my statements. Or is this the week's moment of ah-ha - the moment when I realize that my experiences are not generic enough to apply to the life of another. Whatever it is, this insight might help me communicate better with the people around me and just for that, I opine that this might be good!

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