Primarily because it isn't good for me, but the problem is, panicking is a genetic trait, and both my parents kinda have it. I tend to stay calm when shit hits the fan, but it's the calm that's at the eye of a storm, one that belies the resident turmoil. I become extremely single-minded, and have a hard time focusing on anything but the crisis at hand. My blood pressure spikes up, my breathing becomes less regular, common sense takes leave of me, and I start thinking of every possible way to resolve the situation. Often times, this includes making a desperate call to a friend that I think can help. Today's emergency - my blog ISP is run by folks on the chopping block at Microsoft; maybe unrelated to the layoffs was the 24hr outage of my site. Enough reasons to trigger PANIC-mode. Last week, bad gas in my fuel tank caused me to ask my dad if the misfiring engine was symptomatic of a timing belt or spark plug problem. Geez!!
Under normal circumstances, I believe that I use common sense and know how to work the system. When something freaks me out though, I lose this ability; in moments like these, I have no qualms in calling a friend and asking the stupidest questions possible - smart move if I knew one. Once I have done this, I recover my composure, and with some help, usually overcome the hurdle. If I can't, I realize that I must let things unfold, which restores me back to my normal self.
Avoiding the freak-out episode is difficult but is something I have resolved to fix in the coming year. Big ticket items for me are keeping a lid on my temper, not drinking caffeine, getting in shape, and, as I just said, not freaking out. If you notice me straying from these goals, remind me of this post and I'll correct my course. To a better 2009 then...
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